


The Suicislide

by Alice_Hermione



Category: Parks and Recreation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 12:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5666839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Hermione/pseuds/Alice_Hermione
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new slide that the Parks and Recreation Department ordered came in and it isn't exactly what they thought it would be. Leslie freaks out, Andy needs to try it out and the rest, well, the rest just watch it all go down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Suicislide

**Author's Note:**

> A friend posted a picture of a slide that went straight down on my Facebook. The caption attached said "Leslie Knope would not approve of this slide." This is the story that came to mind. It was so much fun to write. I hope you enjoy it as much as I had writing it.

“No, no, no,no, no! This is no good!” Leslie threw her arms up in the air. “This is not what we ordered or there has to be a missing piece. Is there another package filled with missing pieces? Because this is no good!”

“Come on, Leslie. It isn't that bad?” Ben interjects trying to sound supportive.

“Nope, this is pretty bad” Donna crossed her arms looking at the so called slide. 

“Oh my god! This is bad” Leslie starts pacing between Ben, Donna, Ann and the slide in question. Without a doubt the slide is not what they ordered. The slide was normal as far as the ladder part but the actual slide was straight down. There was no ride angle, it was you go to sit on the slide and the next thing you know you’re on the ground. 

“Oh my god! This slide is bad! So bad! It is horrible! People will die on this slide! Go up, come down and like you die. Someone will commit suicide on this slide. Oh my god that's what we have a suicide slide. A suicislide!” Leslie stops pacing and looks at the slide in defeat. Ben and Ann look at each other. It was true that at moments Leslie could be dramatic but this was bad. “This suicislide is terrible! It goes straight down!” She motions at the slide. 

“I wouldn’t say straight down. I mean it isn’t a perfect 90 degree angle down so technically,” Ben trailed off as the three women looked at him. Donna gave him a look that said are you for real, Leslie looked at him like he was crazy and Ann gave him her total annoyed you are not helping face. Ben shut up as soon as he saw all three looks. “Nope, sorry it’s bad.”

“Of course it is!” Leslie exclaimed. 

“Leslie, I don’t think anyone is going to die on this slide,” Ann stepped forward and places a hand on Leslie’s shoulder. Leslie looks at her with wide eyes.

“Ann, you don’t know that! This is a suicislide!” Leslie covered her face with her hand. 

“WHOA! Look at that!” Donna, Ben and Ann turned and looked at Andy who was running up from behind them, “This looks awesome!” Andy ran straight up the slide and started to check it out. 

“No Andy, this is does not look awesome. In fact this is the exact opposite of awesome. This is terrible! Horrible! The most horrific thing to ever been dropped off at a park!” She looked at him, “Andy! No, do not attempt to climb that suicislide,” She walked over to Andy and grabbed him to pull him back. 

“Aw, come on Leslie, let me ride it!” Andy whined. 

“Andy you cannot slide down that! There is nothing to slide down!” Leslie turned to look at him and threw her hands down. 

“Oh sure you can Leslie! There is a slide and I can hold on and it will be awesome,” he turned to look at her and started bouncing in place, “Please, Leslie! Please! I want to slide down it!” He kept bouncing in place. Leslie turned to look at the others hoping they would back her up. 

“Andy, you will die if you go down that slide,” Leslie spoke very seriously.

“Andy, I wouldn’t,” Ann spoke up, “I mean you won’t die,” that earned Ann a glare from Leslie, “but you will get hurt.”

“Yeah, it’s not exactly safe,” Ben stated with a nod of his head. 

“Nah, it can’t be that bad,” Andy looked at it, “I mean I did fall into the pit and that was pretty bad so this can’t be any worse can it?” He turned to look back at the group. “I mean it is a children’s slide!”

“This is NOT a children’s slide! No child will ride on this slide, ever!” Leslie exclaimed. At this Andy started to walk towards the ladder of the slide. 

“Leslie, seriously it is not that bad,” Andy placed his hands on the ladder. 

“Oh, this is gonna be good,” Donna whispered to Ben and Ann next to her. Ann’s eyes went wide as she nodded.

“Is he seriously going to go down this slide?” Ben whispered back. 

“Yep,” Ann replied. At this point Andy started to the climb up the slide. 

“Andy, don’t do this! Please don’t do this!” Leslie had started to beg at this point. 

“See it’s not even that tall!” Andy was almost at the top which was about 7 feet high, “I won’t die Leslie!” April and Ron walked up behind them. “April! Look at this slide!”

“Good God what is that?” 

“It is a suicislide, Ron!” Leslie turned and looked at Ron.

“Andy what are you doing?” April questioned. 

“He’s about to die,” Leslie turned to April. 

“He won’t die,” April rolled her eyes, “Andy come down from there.”

“Andy, please don’t try to slide down! There is no slide to slide down on,” Leslie yelled up to him.

“Yeah, Andy you’re just going to fall down,” Ann spoke up. 

“And break something” Ben added. At this point Andy swung his legs over to the slide and was sitting at the top of the slide. Everyone stood there staring at him. 

“Slide meet your master!” Andy shouted at the top of his lungs as he pushed himself off. And push himself off he did. While attempting to ride the slide Andy had kept his hands on the slide part itself. Instead he went right over the edge and landed on the ground with a rather large thud. Leslie groaned in frustration. Donna and Ben exchanged a look as if they knew this would be the result. Ann shook her head. Ron stood there with his eyebrows still raised.

“Andy, babe are you okay?” April walked up to Andy and knelt down.

“That was awesome,” Andy made an attempt to roll over and face the group, “but I can’t feel my legs right now.” 

“Andy, don’t move,” Ann stepped forward to see what was wrong with Andy. 

“Oh my god,” Leslie turned away, “Andy will have broken both of his legs all over again. This is just like the pit. Oh this is not good,” Ben walked up behind her and placed his hand and arm around her shoulders.

“I’m sure he didn’t break both of them. Besides this cannot be as bad as the pit, I mean, at least you can remove this,” at this Ron walked up to the slide.

“I will take this and fix it,” Ron started to look up and down the slide. With a nod to everyone he walked away. 

“It looks like he has a broken leg but that’s it” Ann looked up at everyone. 

“April, that slide was not fun,” Andy called out to April. She looked down at him and shook her head. 

“Babe, you broke your leg,” she responded.

“Nothing I haven’t done before,” Andy looked up at her.

“Andy, we should get you to the hospital,” Ann looked over, “can someone help me get him up?”

“Geeze, Ann, I’m right here,” April rolled her eyes, “I’ll help.” Donna stepped forward. 

Donna, Ann and April all gathered around Andy and helped him up on his good leg. They placed his arms around Donna and April like crutches. “Come on, big boy, we’ll get you out of here.” Donna said as they started to walk away. As Andy, Donna and April started to walk away, Ann turned and looked at Leslie and Ben. 

“Well, at least he didn’t die,” Ann said shrugging her shoulders. Leslie looked at her exasperated. “Come on Leslie, Ron said he is going to fix it, everything will be fine.” Leslie sighed. 

“Let’s go with the rest of the group to make sure Andy is okay,” Ben turned to Leslie and she nodded. 

“This is not a good start to this slide,” Leslie said as the three walked away, “I honestly don’t know how Ron is going to turn that suicislide into something usable.”

“How about we stop calling it a suicislide,” Ben stated. 

“But that’s what it is! If it broke Andy’s leg,” Leslie continued. 

“Don’t worry, Ron will fix it,” Ann reassured Leslie. Shortly after everyone had left the slide, Ron walked up to the slide with one of his many tool kits. He started whistling as he set to work on Leslie’s suicislide.


End file.
